Gate Crashing in Pacific Palisades

The Pacific Palisades

Have you ever gate crashed a party? Of course you have (and if you haven’t get your boney ass in gear and try it before you get too old!). The question here is rather; have you ever gate crashed a private birthday party in The affluent Pacific Palisades at 3 pm where you are guest number 6 arriving, which means that there’s no way in hell that you can sneak in. No no. You are introduced to everybody as ”Miss uhh…..’yeah, who is it exactly you are again…? Oh me? Well, I’m Kristina (big smile) Korsholm (even bigger smile)”.…. And did I mention that everybody (all 5 of them) is in their trunks and bikinis in the dolphin shaped swimming in front of the breathtaking view staring at me with big Oprah-white smiles and reflection shades like I’m some abstract painting by an unknown artist on mushrooms.

But after a good sweaty 25 minutes drive in 105 degrees my look channels more rag doll than doll. So I don’t blame their glances. My Matthew Williamson top and American Apparel Daisy Dukes are clinging to my damp body. And make-up? Let’s not even go there.

I’m not sure whether it’s the brightness of their pearly whites or the sun that blinds me, but my eyes are really starting to burn even through my Valentino Shades. So when there’s still no sign of recognition, I stutter that I was expecting my friend to be here and I’m sorry to intrude and I make a run for the bar and the restroom to collect myself. Great call KK! I will just stay here and powder my nose till my friend makes her appearance. Then my blackberry beeps; 3 unheard messages. I hate the Hills. Reception sucks. It’s my friend saying that she’s been knocking on the front door forever and tried to call everybody without success (no reception) and now she’s leaving.

I can’t believe it! She left the party without even having made it through the front door. Wow this must be the negative of gate crashing parties. Nevertheless here I am – alone in the bathroom – alone with a mojito… and since it would be too embarrassing to just make a run for the it and pretend I never set foot here I decide to drown my shyness in alcohol and face the music. The party people in the dolphin shaped pool that is. Mind you, this group of people are all in the film industry and since I made it my business to articulate my full name I don’t want to meet these folks and their broad white smiles down the road in some nerve wrecking casting situation and get; ”Oh hiya, there we have the runaway girl..ha ha ha”.

So I down the drink and help myself to another on my way out to the pool where I take a seat feet in the turquoise water and try to mingle with the crowd who’s trandformed form 5 into 15 in my absence in the powder room. Funny thing is it’s soooo easy to mingle in LA. Most people are out of towners, or people from other countries who moved to LA years back, so there’s always something to conversate about.

Later on I meet a lawyer friend of mine that I met at the Maxim party a couple of weeks back. I suddenly have ‘friends’ at this party. Yay! He’s such a character. He always makes it his business to connect everybody at parties so I get introduced to a Miss Fitness, who looks like she could snap me between her fingers and have me for breakfast. But she turns out to be really cool and funny. I’m introduced as ”an amazingly talented actress” (Note: hmm I can live with that ha ha ;-). Again it is sooooo LA! )

Then I get to talk to the birthday boy, who’s, well not exactly a boy anymore, but I don’t want to get sued by mentioning age here. We figure out that he knows my old crazy, alcoholic agent from NYC from the days when I was modeling in the city. (which when we’re talking LA time isn’t that long ago ;-)..). My agent used to make a couple of runs to the liquor stores when he chaperoned me out to castings. He was a raving lunatic. But super creative and visionary. To bad the substance abuse got the better of him. After a couple of bottles, still brown paper bag in hand he’d dance like he was in a Broadway show. Singing and tap dancing sideways on the cobblestones in The West Village. I remember how embarrassing it was to visit the photographers with this Broadway chanting character in the same room screaming how he is going to make me a star and the photographer would be crazy not to book me now. No need to say I had to get a new agent.

Once again it’s proven that the World is much smaller than we think and that we have friends in the most unexpected places.

After a couple of hours in the Pacific Palisades I ventured back to West Hollywood where I had an appointment with my Iranian waxing lady. She’s the best in town. So hit me up if you’re looking for the perfect fit in that department. 🙂

And now I have to pack for Vegas, so I have to go. My man and I are driving out there very early in the a.m. to get a a little road trip out of it. I’ll write more about that experience tomorrow.

XOXO

K