By Kristina Korsholm February 6, 2012 in Life

It Does It All The Time…

It does it all the time. It hits me with this uncontrollable speed and out of nowhere situations that I must deal with. It throws me curbs, twists and turns. Devastating and exhilarating. From heavy, pouring tear drops to bubbly ecstasy. Life is crude and at times it strips me of all my guards I’ve built up so far. Often. More often than I like, I find myself standing there so vulnerable and so little.

There are times where the grand master plan you thought you had mapped out so perfectly seems perfectly irrelevant. Suddenly the here and now drags you into a new kind of reality that demands other priorities. It is in these situations I understand that I cannot plan or control anything. The weird part is, I understand it in these important moments. And then when they pass I go on and plan again. Sometimes I think I must be plain stupid. Perhaps it is part of humanity…?

Only 2 months after I lost my grandmother on my father’s side, I lost my grand father on my mother’s side. That is a tall order when you like me were super close to both of them. I flew back to Copenhagen Tuesday morning to be with my family and to honor my grandfather who was such a rock star. He lived like no tomorrow. Truly. He ate, drank, romanced and did anything and anyone he pleased. So when the time came he bid me, my mother and sisters to refrain from feeling any sadness on his behalf because he had been living on ‘the dessert of life’ only enjoying the best of the best for a long time. Even though he is right, it is still so unreal and I miss him dearly…. I always will.

Even though death is as real as birth and life itself it is still incomprehensible. I am not afraid of death, but I am afraid of letting go of my loved ones. The abandonment is probably my worst fear.

Now I’m back in LA again contemplating and trying to prepare for tomorrow’s audition and this week’s shoots.

While I was in Copenhagen, Fashion Week turned the city upside down in a ‘haute’ and fashionable mess. I went out one night to see some of my friends and feel the frenzie. It was great to see some old, friendly faces …